With the right steps, you can make things easier for your loved one and yourself after their diagnosis and during treatment. Here are some tips for family and friends of someone with breast cancer:
Practical Support
Many people want to carry on doing as much as possible during their treatment. However, side effects can often make it more difficult to continue with everyday tasks and asking for help is not always easy.
Knowing how to help can sometimes be difficult. As well as thinking about what your friend or family member might need help with, it’s important to think about what you’re able to do and how much time you’re able to commit.
Offering specific help means both parties understand what’s on offer. For example, rather than saying ‘What can I do for you?’ it might be better to say ‘Would you like me to pick the children up from school tomorrow?’.
Things you might offer to help with include:
• cleaning and vacuuming
• clothes washing and ironing
• gardening
• cooking meals for freezing
• transport to and from hospital appointments
• taking children to or from school
• babysitting
Some people may be reluctant to accept help or even feel embarrassed about the help that’s being offered. This can sometimes feel hurtful, but it’s important to some people to maintain a sense of normality and to continue to do things even when doing so is very difficult.
Emotional Support
Most people are shocked to hear they have breast cancer and experience many different emotions including anger, fear, sadness and depression.
Feelings can change from day to day and even hour to hour. It’s often difficult to know what to say and how best to support someone.
Just being alongside someone and allowing them to express how they’re feeling is probably one of the most important ways of supporting them.
Try not to be afraid of tears that may be shed – it may be a helpful way for your friend or relative to express how they’re feeling. If it’s appropriate, holding hands or giving them a hug is a useful way of showing your support.
If someone is feeling angry about their diagnosis they may direct this at you. This can be hurtful – particularly if you’re trying to support them. But try to remember this is often because they’re upset about having cancer, rather than being upset with you.
Listening to your friend or relative talk about how they’re feeling can sometimes be difficult or distressing, but it might be really helpful to them to express how they’re feeling.
• Write your questions down so you don’t forget them. If it’s OK with your loved one, you can go with them to an appointment and ask the doctor about them. You may want to let other people know what you’re going to ask before you go.
• Be prepared for changes in your loved one's behaviour and mood. Medications, side effects from treatment, and stress may make their feel depressed, angry, or tired.
• Encourage them to be active and to do as much for themself as possible. It will help them feel a sense of control.
• Ask other family members and friends to pitch in, too. They can bring meals, take the dog for a walk, or offer rides to doctor’s appointments. Most people will appreciate the chance to help.
Support For You
Supporting a friend or relative can be very demanding and upsetting. A loved one’s illness can be stressful for you, too. To be able to continue to support your friend or relative, you need to look after yourself.
To keep your worries from taking over:
• Try to keep a positive attitude.
• Accept that there are events you cannot control.
• Find some activities that help you relax. Take a walk, listen to music, or practise meditation or yoga.
• Exercise regularly. It’s a great way to fight tension, and it can help your body be better prepared to deal with stress.
• Rest and sleep. Your body needs time to recover from stressful events. Don't rely on alcohol or drugs to reduce stress.
• Think about joining a support group for family and friends of people with breast cancer. It might help to talk about what you’re going through with other people who understand what it’s like.
If you or someone you know are looking for the best breast cancer surgeon in Sydney NSW, do not hesitate to contact Sydney Breast Associates today.
sources: webmd.com, breastcancernow.org
